Fear. fear can be terrifying. Fear can be suffocating. Fear can make you see something, someone or somewhere as what it’s not. it can warp your mind into a prison. It can changed your perspective of anything into the worst thing imaginative. it can stop you from pushing to your full potential. A glass ceiling in your own making. A genuine heart stopper that blocks out the rational and the conscious. Your thoughts changed within an instant. Everyone has a fear, something that chills your bones. something that speaks louder than the truth, something that makes you change your behaviours. A fear can be anything you make it. A fear can be anything that makes your breath stop.
However a fear can connect you to the right choice. They act as a barrier to choices that aren’t so healthy, choices that would get you into a dangerous situation. They are somewhat of a protection. An Angel disguised as a the Devil. They help you make a conscious decision. You can overcome a fear in comparison to an phobia.
A phobia is an anxiety in itself. Phobias are harder, they stop the mind. Instead of limiting the thoughts they pause them, control how fast they come to you. They pause the healthy mind and create demons. They create barriers of concrete. Harder to escape from in a cell made of fire, burning every single piece of your conscious. They eat at you whole, they pick you apart piece to piece. Every single part of your being trapped in a time warp. It’s harder to find a safe piece of land when your phobias is the lava covering the ground below you. Trying to escape the chains of the phobia holding you down is harder than one might think. You can’t just grab the key and flee the shackles, It is a lot harder than that. Can you ever really rid yourself of the dark demon that is a phobia?
A phobia is like being an Mandurian candidate. It is like a school day that carries on for life. Protecting yourself from your demon is like a day to day job. Holding back the anxiety that tries to seep through your skin like water. Its cool at first until it starts to burn you, your skin feels like fire , it wont stop. Melting every single thought and feeling until your numb. wishing it would all stop but it never does.
Anxiety is a fear and a phobia. its like an illness you wouldn’t like. It is scaring. It limits your capabilities and potential. You can never be yourself without your mind being its own person. Its the devil disguised as an angel. It presents itself as something that would help you. Feeding you thoughts, emotions and behaviours that ”benefit” you when they don’t. They hurt you. They stop you. They scar you. In reality anxiety hates you. It makes you hate yourself. You eventually understand why it hates you. Although one can never fully understand why.
From the outside one may see it as manageable. it can be if you try. However it takes time and determination. If you believe you can do so then you can. Anxiety is hard, I have struggled my full life. It has never left me and never will. The sad truth you will never really rid yourself of the demon of anxiety. But you can control it. You can lock it away , having it only lash out at your weakest points, lashing out when your guard is down. But you can do it if you try hard you can do it. I have lost so many opportunity’s, friends and relationships due to anxiety. I will never gain them back but if you in vison a garden of freedom, a field of safeness and an ocean of happiness then you will free yourself from the dark, thorn filled garden covered by a storm.
anxiety is the controlling factor of all these things like fears and phobias. Anxiety is only partially spread into these like a half made sandwich the rest is on the thing itself. anxiety is a self esteem crusher. Anxiety is the devil in disguise of an angel. Phobias are demons. Fear is an angel in disguise of the devil. which one is the worst though. they all do the same damage to you. they all hurt you in one way or another. they all have intentions unclear. motives that you don’t understand. it just takes time thats all.
but how much time?
The Anonymous Journal 